As I sit here packing, I do not know what to think or feel. Yes, I'm overjoyed to be returning to Nairobi. Yet, I remember how I returned when I was there last. It was hard for me to process how to feel here in America. It was hard for me to purchase a single item for months. I am reminded of how complacent I have become and how easy it was for me to return to the American ways. So I sit here thinking that once I get there I will be extremely upset with myself, but I cannot do that. I can only be in the moment there because there is a refreshing self emptying that occurs. For two straight weeks I do not think about one selfish desire, and that is the most at peace and passionate I have ever felt. I cannot wait to be at that place again. So thank you for allowing me to do that, to be so interested in what god is doing through me that you sit here and read these words, to be so excited for me that you helped me push through school to get here. Thank you. These past few days I have received a generous amount of donations from family and friends. It was a reassurance from God, telling his daughter that he has a grand purpose for these next two weeks and that this time will fall directly into his plan for my entire being. Do you know who made that possible? You all. So do not underestimate your importance in all of this. I may be the one going, but you have provided that ability by faithfully trusting The Lord with your money and you have rained prayer over this entire trip. There is no me without you. The biggest thing I have seen people do as they hear about the stories and the work being done in Nairobi is that they feel they aren't doing enough and that they wish they could be as "courageous" as me. Well, I humbly say I am not courageous, God is powerful. God created the entire concept of earth and life. Do you not think that he has intricately weaved all our stories and intersections together for the love of him? You are doing enough. In fact, I sometimes would think that you are doing more than me. I spend two weeks of my time in Nairobi. You make the sacrificial giving that has be so joyfully generous it might greatly affect how you live the next month. There is no possible way some of you can take off time from work, your kids, your family, and guess what? Maybe its because you aren't suppose to. Maybe its because God has called you to witness right here. So please do not feel that you are not doing enough. That doubt is not from God the father. That is simply from satan bringing guilt into your life. Thank you for allowing me to do this.
All in all, tomorrow night begins the journey back to Nairobi. So thank you, keep watch on the blog for updates, and if you feel called to donate there is still time. Thank you for investing in this trip. I hope that you may see God working and moving through it all.
God bless xoxo,
Maddie
